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Dear Jade, I'm married, but I have the biggest crush on another man. I can't stop fantasizing about him and if I really want to move forward with him, all I have to do is call him. What should I do? I seriously can't stop thinking about this man. Julia HE SAID: Although you are married, the appetite for pleasure with a new beefcake will not automatically go away. This appetite, also known as a crush, is a genetic program signaling humans to procreate with the best mate possible, thus to ensure the survival of the human species as a whole. Basically, men and women are all alike. We are all dogs! People check out the opposite sex all the time. As a high-risk cheater, before you act on this insatiable appetite of lust and pleasure, think of the consequences between you and your husband should you give in to the temptation. If the relationship with your husband is over, move on. Just remember, you both can’t have your cake and eat it too. |
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SHE SAID: A crush on another man (other than your husband) is not a bad thing. After years of being with the same person, it's going to happen. But first you need to ask yourself, why do I have a crush on this man? What does he have that my husband doesn't? The answers to these questions will determine if your marriage is in trouble or not. Sometimes it's just romance that is missing in a marriage that leads us to look else where. However, if you really and truly curious about your crush, ask him out for coffee. Having coffee with an attractive guy friend is not an act of adultery. After spending an hour with your crush, you might know a little more on how you really feel about him. You'll know if it's just a lust thing or a maybe-I-should-leave-my-husband thing. Good luck. BUT MAMA SAID: People are bound to notice other good-looking people who are not their spouses and that it okay. What is not okay is cheating on your spouse. Examine your marriage and your own feelings. If you truly feel that there is nothing worth saving in your marriage, then end it before you move on to the next person. Do not start a new relationship before you end your old one. If, however, it is just a fantasy that you play out in your head from time to time, then you should just enjoy the stories you make up. Do keep in mind that in many instances that the fantasy is much better than reality. |
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