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Dear Jade, I've been with my boyfriend for 6 years and am currently living with him. He wants to marry me, but I'm just not ready for marriage. I'm 25 and would like to focus on my career. How can I make him understand that we don't need to rush things and just enjoy what we have? Cara HE SAID: Dear Cara: In many cultures, living together without being married is no longer viewed as a social taboo. More and more young couples are shacking up before they get married. Some choose to get married right away and some wait. Your focus is on a career and his focus is on getting married. At the end of the day, what is important is neither the marriage nor the career. In instead, it’s the love and commitment you have for each other. When the time is right, you will know. By the way, would you be opposed to a long engagement? |
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SHE SAID: If you feel like marriage is not the thing for you right now, then go with your gut. Marriage is a long-term commitment and is hard to undo. Tell your boyfriend that you are happy with him and that you loves what you two have right now but you want to wait for a couple more years to focus on your career. He should understand. If not, there is nothing you can do except to re-evaluate your feelings about marriage and/or him. Good luck. BUT MAMA SAID: You should sit down and have a heart to heart with him about your feelings, but also about his. Find out why he feels so strongly about getting married. Also, think about why you feel so strongly against it. While it is a significant step forward, if everything is stable in your relationship, then marriage really should not change much except your legal status. |
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