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Dear Jade, I've been married to my husband for 23 years. We have two grown children (college age). We were a comfortable family, at least I thought so. He recently left me for another woman. I had no idea that he was unhappy with me, or that there was someone else. I have not held a full time job since I've been married. I'm so lost emotionally, I don't know where to start this new life that were forced upon me. Please advise. X HE SAID: Dear X: It may seem difficult at first but you should view this as an opportunity to begin a new chapter in your life. Although twenty-three years is a long time, I bet there were plenty of good times and great memories to recall. The short answer is that life is not over. It is just a new beginning. Yes, you are a bit older. Yes, the kids are grown, and they no longer live with you. But you have your our whole life ahead of you, so what are you going to do about it? Why not go back to school or volunteer at a charity organization? People move on all the time and you need to do the same. So as the old saying goes, if life gives you lemons, make lemonade! |
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SHE SAID: I'm sorry to hear about your marriage. First, it is not your fault. You didn't caused your husband to leave, it was his lack of commitment. With that said, you can't focus on what you had, you have to move forward. I understand that you are hurt, so just cry as much as you need but do seek professional counseling. Surround yourself with family, including your grown children and friends. Financially, seek a settlement from the divorce that should include school or career training budget to get you back on your feet, and your house. Take classes that will get you a job that you enjoy. When you are ready to start dating again, join social networks, or maybe you might meet someone from class. What I'm trying to say, is that when one door closes another one opens. BUT MAMA SAID: I'm sorry to hear about your situation. It is tough to have to start over so suddenly. Hopefully you will have some time to deal with the pain you are dealing with before you have to deal with day-to-day matters. You should seek out support from family and friends. They can provide you with the emotional support you'll need to carry on while you figure things out. They can also help you find a job and get started with your new life. You might take the first step of looking into classes that will help you in your career. A career counselor might be of help as well. You can also look into support groups online that can help with your job search and your life. It will be tough but you will get through it and be able to go on. |
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