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Dear Jade, My husband is out of own during the week for work, so he doesn't see me or our two toddler boys very much. Weekends are all we have together as a family. He recently got back into biking and has signed up for a marathon this coming fall, so he spends his weekend training (an average of 60-100 mile bike ride on the weekends)instead of spending time with us. I'm not sure if my husband is subconsciuously trying to tell me that he's not cut out for a family and a full time fatherhood or he's doesn't feel the need to be with his two boys. I don't know how to tell my boys that their father just rather be biking and running than to be w/ them. I don't know what I need to do to raise my boys to be secure future men w/o a father around. I'm not sure if I need to make a major family status decision either. Please advise. Heather HE SAID: Being away for work all week does not leave much time to decompress during the workweek.Ê By the same token, being with the kids all week can be equally hectic.Ê Complaining about how your husband monopolizes the weekend for his own activities is not the solution.Ê Instead, you and your husband need to talk and work out a plan that will give each of you some Òme-timeÓ as well as setting aside time to spend with the family.Ê The fact is, he is your husband, you are his wife, there are two kids in the mix and everyone wants to do their own thing.Ê As parents, both you and your husband need to come together and work out a balance as a family.Ê More importantly, as husband and wife, you both need to support each otherÕs goals and aspirations in life. |
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SHE SAID: TBD BUT MAMA SAID: You don't need to talk to your boys, You need to talk to your husband. Let him know that his children need him right now. If he doesn't take part in their lives now, he's not going to get a chance later on when they are older. They're not even going to pay attention to him since they won't really know him as their father. He's going to miss out on huge chunks of their lives. I can understand that he wants some downtime on weekends but maybe he can include the boys. A jogging stroller or a bike seat would at least get them to spend some time together. Plus, if he can run/bike w/extra weight, imagine how much faster he'd go when he's alone. |
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