Personal Relationship


Dear Jade,

I belong to a group of friends, but lately I noticed that I've been excluded in many of the get- togethers. I know this because they would post pictures on Facebook, and they all know that I'm on their friend lists. Should I say something or should I just take it that they kicked me out from the group and move on? I'm just curious why.
-Alison


HE SAID:

Dear Alison:

Sharing personal information through social media outlets such as Facebook has become both convenient and a nuisance. While it is fun to give updates, the act of not including or not sharing information could have unintended consequences. Whether you are part of the clique, or not, is now easily discernible. No one can hide behind the junk mail excuses anymore. On the flip side, I believe that no one should post another person’s picture unless you have the person’s permission. That being said, relax because you are still on the friend list.

SHE SAID:

Dear Alison:

That is mean. But you know, it can be a good thing. I mean do you want to be part of a group that is this rude?! Come on, posting photos of their events on Facebook knowing that you will see it? There are plenty of real friends out there (and you deserve real friendships), so let them go. They were never your friends in the first place. Friends don't do that to each other.

I don't recommend asking them why you were excluded. This will only give them power over you. Don't let them see that you were hurt by their actions. If you do run into them in person, just show them that you've moved on with your life and life is good.

BUT MAMA SAID:

Dear Alison:

If they are your friends, I would go ahead and talk to them and find out what is going on. Perhaps talk to one or two with whom you are closer and find out from them if something has happened to put you on the outs. It might just be that they assumed you weren't interested or were busy. Talking to a them will clear things up and you'll have a better idea where you stand. 
MAR + APR 2014

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